Ben Tshin

And so ends the LONGEST and MOST TIRING summer of my entire short life.

*whew*

*snooze*

I watched I am Sam and it was a great movie. Some parts were really “touching” and they almost elicited the cry reflex from me. But I held my emotions in place. I was really impressed by Sean Penn’s acting and his portrayal of the mentally retarded (yes, those two words aren’t really politically correct but that’s what it is) Sam Dawson. His daughter, Lucy Diamond (from the line in the Beatles song: “Lucy in the sky with diamonds”) is really cute and her part worked out so well with Sam.

Basically (for those who don’t know what the movie is about), Sam is a mentally retarded man who raises a baby girl, Lucy. However, Sam has the mental age of 7 and as Lucy reaches the age of 7, the courts and the child protection agency take her into custody stating that Sam is not fit to be her father. So Sam gets a high-strung, cold-hearted lawyer who works for him “pro bono” (“free” for those who haven’t studied Latin yet) as a boost to her image. That’s a good brief overview of the movie. Watch it instead of hearing me talk about it.

So apparently, Sean Penn plays a mentally retarded man very well. I was talking to some people at L’arche (where Jeff works) and they said that they got his portrayal right down to the littlest things. But seeing these people makes me realize that there is so much to learn from these people about compassion and relationships. They don’t have elementary school education but they still have so much to teach us. They live with the essentials, not all the fancy material things that we (and many times I as well) treasure. But they live with such joy in their lives. Perhaps they simply haven’t been jaded by the rough sides of this society, of this world. These people have the mental age of 10 years, so they are just like big kids. I sometimes wish I could be like them and not see and not perceive the brokenness of this world. Ignorance is bliss…

Oh, what a little bit of extra communication does! It seems that the most immediate medecine this fast paced society needs is slow and careful communication. I need it, you need it, we all need it. Unfortunately communication is such a large word and an even larger idea that we don’t remind ourselves about it. There isn’t a nice phrase like “If there’s a will, there’s a way”. We could say “I scream for communication, you scream for communication, we all scream for communication” but that one doesn’t work except with ICE CREAM!!!

For the young’uns: Your parents are stressed out already. Don’t even try to raise your voice with them. But tell them eventually what’s been irking you.

For the parental units: Your children are learning. We’re just a little slow at times. Bear with us and try not to forgive and forget.

Okay, in response to what I said yesterday… “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. I believe I was talking to my small group about this too. I can’t necessarily say that our commercialized McWorld existence in affluent Canada is better than those self-sufficient families living in the crook of the desert.

It’s true that we don’t “Count our blessings, count them one-by-one” but after realizing our blessings we have a responsibility to share what we have with those around. And from a Christ-following perspective (as opposed to a “Christian” perspective), the salvation we receive must be shared with those around us. Changing my perspective of the people around me doesn’t give them salvation. I will only get closer to my dream world (God’s dream world) when a friend finds the salvation that I’ve found.

My life is only as beautiful as the lives around me. So to “beautify” my life, I will beautify the lives of those around me.

Yesterday, we sang “Dreamers of Your Dreams” again during service. This song is coming back to say something to me. A friend’s blog said that “Life is Beautiful” (taking the title of that Roberto Benigni film) and that made me think: Life SHOULD be and CAN be beautiful. But unfortunately it isn’t for the majority of the world. So many suffereing people, so many depressed people, so many homeless and starving people.

Anyway, with last week’s World Youth Day (WYD) it has been a good conversation point as people are asking about this Pope guy (ie: Pope-a-rama!!!) and asking about God. I can see the interest of these people piqued by the Pope in town. God’s dream is slowing being revealed in the lives of those around me. I want in!!!

In God’s dream, life IS beautiful. And just like tasteless sports drink asks: “Is it in you?” Is God’s dream in you? Are you dreaming God’s dream? I hope can be like Martin Luther King Jr. and say “I have a dream”.

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John 4:24
God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.

John424: Antioch was a great time of outdoor worship @ Mel Lastman Square on Saturday. It was the first really good time of praise and worship that I’ve had in a while. I sat third row center and I think my ears took a beating for the last song “Did You Hear the Mountains Tremble?”.

Anyway, they had some really nifty interactive things during the service. As part of personal confession, they asked people confess their sins and then as a witness to others, go to the pool and symbolically wash their physical bodies just as their spiritual bodies had been washed by Christ’s blood. It was amazing how many people were confessing their deep-rooted sins and surrendering them to Christ. One thing that I noticed was that there were like twice as many guys confessing deep sins compared to girls. Could it be that guys are filthier inside, and have more hidden sins than girls? Or is it that guys are more real and upfront with sin? Or is it maybe that guys perceive their sins –pornography, lust– worse than how girls perceive their sins –gossip, anger, envy?? Unfortunately all sins are still sin.

After that Paul Morris talk about Christians being “little Christs” in the Greek translation. He asked something on the lines of: “Can other people label you as little Christs?” I would sure hope that I’m seen first as a little Christ. It got me thinking of the legacy I hope to leave when I die. In response to his message everyone had a chance to take a piece of sidewalk chalk and write something in Mel Lastmane Square. The whole place was covered in messages, verses, prayers, etc. My line: “Jesus: I see Him, do you?”

Emotional thing now: I cried. Yes, a manly man like me cried while they were singing “Dreamer of Your Dreams”. I think whenever I hear that song I realize and see what God’s dream is for this world. His dream that all peoples would know and feel His love in their lives. I thought about the homeless people on the street and then I thought of all my non-Christian friends. I saw God’s dream for them that they would know salvation, and I just cried. It was crying out of joy, sadness, anticipation, love… hard to explain.

So that was John424…

Minor note: my softball team *WIRED* won again, bringing our record to 3-2. I batted 3 for 3, 1 double, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, NO fielding errors.

And for Cat and Mark: nice to see you again, two weeks in a row.

I was eating lunch down by the lake and I was praying and this lady came up to me and asked if I was okay. I guess to her I looked depressed or something so she was concerned that maybe I was going to jump into the lake and drown myself. (Although that’s not really possible since it’s so shallow.)

Turns out that this lady, Rita, is a Roman Catholic and we were sharing about the power of prayer in our lives. And she was telling me how she really believes that prayer works and I totally agree. It was really different today because people normally don’t ask me what I’m doing when I pray. But this time I was able to do more with the faith I had. It was so good to be encouraged, by a stranger, to keep on pursuing God!!

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I’m still trying to get time alone, away from the hubbub of my busy life. Mother Theresa said that spending one hour a day worshipping God was the key to her spiritual vigor:

And this brings me to my second little gift. I have found that 3 a.m. is a wonderful, peaceful time to awaken and to give yourself and your Creator a precious gift of one uninterrupted hour of silent meditation. There are no phones, no fares, no calls on your time or attention. None except the gentle voice of an understanding Father whose love is infinite and unconditional.”

So that’s what I’m going to try to do: spend more time doing LESS. One hour a day of just soaking in God’s presence. But along side my spiritual recovery I will also try to sleep more (yes, MORE sleep!!!) to help my physical recovery.

I’m still reading along in Psalms. I’m at the 18th Psalm so it’ll be a while until I finish, but it’s already quite emotional…. *weep*weep* Anyway, the Psalms have so far been quite sympathetic to me. Well, only another 132 more to go.

RETREAT! Just got back from the JOY retreat over the Canada Day long weekend. Although the participation in a retreat goes against my motto — no reserves, no retreats, no regrets, I really needed the retreat to just get away from the hubbub of life. I’ve gotten myself caught up in way too many things including: softball committee (I’m in charge of drama stuff), small groups, softball games & practises, DE (distance ed.) course ENGL306A, and then I have to set aside time for worship at church, accountability, and JOY fellowship.

It’s like I don’t have any time for myself and I don’t. And I don’t have time for God either. I’ve been spending too much time doing things FOR God instead of doing things WITH God. So this weekend, God told me during the prayer labrynth to feed on Him, to commune with Him and I would like to find more time to do so.

We had our HGHF Reunion BBQ at the Tee residence. It’s already been 3 weeks since the production, so many memories of those 5 rushed days.

We finally got to watch ourselves on video. Sam and I SOOO don’t look like construction workers. Supposedly I look more like a farmer than a construction worker. But now I can ‘improve’ upon my performance.

So now that the drama is done we heard lots of stories of how people’s lives were touched and changed. I’m amazed at the stories from the younger kids who exercised great faith and God responded. For me, HGHF reminded me that Hell exists and some people will be going there. So it has lent me a new sense of urgency since I can’t allow my friends to have to suffer through an eternity without God in Hell.