Ben Tshin

Your turn now, Joeie: Happy Birthday!

This week has been so much about birthdays and birthday celebrations. Of course, part of that is because of mine and now Joeie’s. But November is the birthday month. I’m not biased: just off the top of my head I count twelve. And that’s from a relatively small circle of friends and acquaintances. I blame whomever that Valentine guy is (or according to Wikipedia, numerous Valentines). Funny thing is that most non-November babies don’t realize: February 14 + 9 months = November! We joke about Valentine’s Day conceptions, and it’s likely exactly true.

So November is now super packed with dinners and parties for either my birthday or hers. I should have planned ahead because the week before I had sushi buffet (excellent), Korean BBQ (too much food), and prime rib steak. So having birthdays back-to-back is going to be hectic each year. But it’ll also be a super fun week of just having a good time!

Unfortunately, anybody having a birthday in these two weeks doesn’t get much time to even say “Happy Birthday” to themselves. First, you don’t have any say in when you pop out of the womb. And second, you don’t have any more say in when exams are scheduled. I pity some friends who’ve received exams as birthday presents.

So Joeie: Happy Birthday. Just remember that your birthday present from York is Christmas break starting on Tuesday. And also all things pretty and shiny!

It’s my champagne birthday. Or it was. It’s over now anyway. So if you forgot, I’m not talking to you… until next year!

Strange thing is that everyone is using Facebook these days to remind themselves of birthdays. So there was a debate about whether to show or hide birthdays. It’s shown by default. But then I thought: “I hate it (or is word too strong??) when people only remember your birthday because some social networking tool (i.e.: Facebook, MySpace, Friendster) reminds them. If they were real friends, they’d remember!” So I hid it. For all of two days. Although Facebook is as superficial as it is, it’s always good feeling when people wish you a happy birthday. Would I rather have random people wishing me a happy birthday or random people wishing me a crappy birthday? The answer is obviously “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”.

Going back to remembering birthdays: I always forget. The only way I used to remember was because Outlook would flash a reminder at 11:45pm the night before. But now I stopped using Outlook simply because gMail and Google are so awesome! So no reminders. I could import all my Outlook birthdays into gCalendar, but it’s too much work since Google doesn’t handle Outlook .pst databases. That’s right. I might be unemployed, but somethings are still too much work.

I didn’t feel bad when Jeff forgot. We had lunch with Rebecca (who I guess also forgot), played squash (I can’t believe I lost that third game), hung around his place. And in the usual Wong manner, he asked if I was staying for dinner. “Nope, I’ve got dinner in Richmond Hill.” “Oh, what for?” “My birthday…” “OH? Right, it’s the 26th today.”

So here are the four ways to forget your friend’s birthday:

1. You get the day/month wrong: “Your birthday is today? I thought it’s the 28th!” (Or “I thought it’s October!” This doesn’t apply if you get both day and month wrong. Then that’s blatantly wrong.)
2. You get it mixed up with someone else: “Your birthday is today? Wait, then who’s October 26th?” (This is worse than #1 because that means two birthdays were missed.)
3. You know their correct birth date, but you don’t know today’s date: “Wait, is today the 26th?”
4. You never knew in the first place:
   • You never bothered to find out.
   • You don’t know the person THAT well. (Here’s where Facebook helps too much.)

So next time you forget, find out which way forgot. If it’s #1, #2 or #3, you probably looked stupid on your friend’s “happy day”. But don’t worry: Hopefully someone else already wished a “happy birthday” so chances are they won’t get cranky on you.

Jeff forgot through #3. Unfortunately I forgot his in September because of #2 and #3. Now that’s just inexcusable. So I take back my isolationist threat: you’re all forgiven. But only for this year.

This is my first post. But really, it’s been a few years since my last blog: the brain drain.

This blog is about me.

I have decided not to name my blog. No fancy names that change every two months; nothing catchy that describes my life in five words.

I hope to be unrefined. There is a tendency of mine when writing essays, emails, blog posts, cards — pretty much anything — to want my words to be concise and with a minimum of words. Elegant writing. But that is a standard too lofty for my achievement. Ironically, the title of my last blog meant precisely the opposite. Besides I’ve always preferred unrefined rock sugar to the bleached snow white sugar.

So this is it.